My Children Were Raised By Different Moms
My children were raised by different moms.
My name remains the same. I hear it repeatedly a hundred million times a day…”mommy”. But the mommy my oldest called out to and the mommy my youngest calls for are very different.
My oldest, you had a mom who was young and energetic but learning.
Everything was new.
I was in awe of each new accomplishment and concerned with every ailment. Every sniffle became a doctor’s visit. I asked a million questions and made sure you were right on schedule with each new milestone.
You had my full attention and my focus was on being the best possible mommy I could be. I looked to all the books and parent magazines for guidance.
I learned how to be a mom from you. I failed and cried. Then sometimes I did it right and cheered myself on.
For the first time, I felt the reality of mom guilt and the weight of perfectionism weigh heavy on my heart. So heavy you could sense it in my moments of defeat.
You had a mom who didn’t really truly know herself yet but was trying her hardest to raise a boy who would know exactly who he was.
You had a mom that wanted all the good things for you but still needed to learn so much.
My youngest, you have a mom who is older than most of your friend’s moms but who has had many more experiences.
Nothing takes me by surprise.
I’ve spent years asking all the questions just to find out that a sniffle is nothing to worry about and that eventually all milestones will be reached at just the unique time you are supposed to reach them.
My attention can’t possibly always be on you with a house full of children but that is okay, you weren’t meant to be the center of attention but to bring all of us a little closer together.
I stopped looking to all the books and magazines and started looking more toward God. I may have lost a little of my youth but gained more wisdom.
I learned my parenting style from your siblings but it was beneficial to you.
You have a mom that still fails and cries but has realized that mom guilt is a burden not meant for moms living life of purpose to carry.
You have a mom who knows herself, has learned a lot, but still has much to learn.
You have a mom who has walked through many obstacles and trials that have both humbled and strengthened her from the mother she was.
She is tired and exhausted and may not be able to take all the field trips and make all the play dates but she is a mom filled with more joy than she ever could have imagined.
Your mom may not be as vibrant and playful as before but she has grown in so many ways.
I was so young when I first took on that beautiful title…”mom”. But, I was much older when I took on that title for the fourth time over. I am both happy for the mom I was, for I learned much through her, and the mom I am today.
No, it’s true. You don’t have the same mother your older brother did. But you each had the mom you needed. And you are the exact child she needed to walk through that stage of life with her.
