Facing The World With Worth! - Boy Mom... Send Help!

Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!
I John 3:1

Our identity doesn’t merely affect the way we view ourselves. It has an outpouring effect on our marriage, relationship with our kids, reaction to circumstances, and ability to fulfill the purpose we were created for.

To put the definition of identity simply, it is literally who you think you are.

Do you know who you are?

The truth is, most of us have a perception of ourselves that is far from who God says we are. We grew up allowing the world and our negative self-talk to mold our identity. The result masks itself as victimhood. It builds walls to protect this very fragile core belief of who we think we are.

Sadly, I spent most of my life not realizing who I truly was. The sad results of an identity crisis in my life played out in my marriage and my parenting. It played out in my relationships with friends and in my fear of chasing what I knew God had for me. And, how you view yourself will affect how you walk through life, interact with others, and pursue your God-sized calling!

A study was done in 2013 in the Netherlands. Scientists watched women with anorexia walk through doorways in a lab. They noticed the women turned their shoulders and squeezed sideways, even when they had plenty of room. Dr. Branch Coslett, a cognitive neuroscientist at the University of Pennsylvania stated, “Their internal representation — their brain perspective on their body — is that the body is much, much bigger than, in fact, it is.”

These women viewed themselves much differently than they actually were and so they walked through doorways, AND this world as if they were a drastically different person.

Studies done as far back as 1911 seem to hold the same response to our representation of our mental self. Two neurologists, Dr. Henry Head and Dr. Gordon Morgan Holmes, published a series of papers exploring the body-brain connection. But instead of studying people with anorexia, “They used an example of the kind of hats that were then in vogue, which were these big hats with big feathers at the top,” says Coslett. What these two doctors noticed was that when women who habitually wore the big hats walked through doors, they ducked — “even when not wearing the hat,” Coslett says. Their mental self was wearing the hat, even if their physical self wasn’t — just as anorexic women in the Netherlands study saw themselves carrying a bigger body.

So, how do people with eating disorders get the mental image of their body so wrong, adding inches to their thighs and bellies? How do ladies with no covering on their heads still have the self-image of wearing their gaudy hats? So far, evidence is that the words you say to yourself and the things you think about yourself change the way you interact with the physical world around you. Maybe knowing our true identity is a little more important than some pretty little words that make us feel better.

So, who do you believe you are?

I struggled with feeling worthless and inadequate. So when a struggle came about in my marriage, friendship, or parenting that hit the center of who I believed I really was, it confirmed my preconceived notion that I truly have no value and left me feeling hopeless.

But, what if I had believed I was created with a purpose?

What if I trusted what I read in the Bible about being so valued by God that He sent His only son to die for my sins?

What if I believed that although people of this world may not always treat me with worth I know a God who loves me beyond measure that will fight on my behalf?

How would I have handled each marital struggle, each parenting blow to my ego, each friend who abandoned me in my time of need?

I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have lashed out with hurtful words of retaliation.

I’m almost positive I would have had a gentle spirit.

I’m confident I would have not held on to anger and resentment and let it fester into bitterness.

I’m certain I wouldn’t have felt hopeless and in despair.

As I picture each anorexic woman walking through the doorway sideways and each fashionable woman ducking as if still wearing her tall hat, I wondered- what if we walked through each circumstance of life believing we were truly who God says we are?

I want you to envision everything you have ever thought about yourself. Picture the words of your identity as a script on a chalkboard.

What would that large board say?

Forgotten? Worthless? Failure? Ugly? Mistake?

Now, envision that big chalkboard eraser your teacher use to make you go outside and beat on the sidewalk. Grab it in your hand and wipe that board clean erasing lie after lie until the board is clean. Let’s take it a step further. Go get that bucket of water and dip the washcloth in the water. I want you to wash that board off. Not one trace of white powder needs to be left. We need to take it all away. All of it.

Now. Now you are ready. If you have been saved you are God’s child. If you are God’s child, He has a few things He wants you to know and it all starts with a new identity. Here is who God says you are!

You are Chosen.

You are a New Creation.

You are Not Condemned.

You are Victorious.

You are Accepted.

You are Redeemed.

You are Strong.

You are Joyful.

You are full of Gentleness.

You are Special To God.

You are Called.

You are Created with a Purpose.

You are filled with the Holy Spirit.

You are a Temple.

You are Blessed with every Spiritual Blessing.

And the list goes on and on.

Imagine entering each relationship and circumstance with that confidence. No longer would our actions be ruled by fear and doubt and low self-esteem. We could have the boldness to let God do what He does best. Fill us with His grace and fight our battles. Oh, but to just believe who we really are!

Maybe therein lies the problem…belief. Maybe we have been told who we are but we don’t really believe all those nice words were meant for us. How do we begin to let the words God has spoken over us seep so deep into our souls that we act as if we truly are heirs to the throne of God?