22 Ways For A Mom to Bond With Teen Son

“Time Spent With The One’s You Love Is Never Wasted”

As a mom to four boys (two of which are teens), I am constantly looking for ways to bond with my boys. It’s a little less natural for moms to connect with their sons than daughters simply because our likes and dislikes tend to be much different. The older my boys get the more this reality sets in. That is why finding ways to connect with my boys have had to be very intentional.

Why It’s So Important

According to Jones (2017) children who are spending more time with their families are less likely to have behavioral issues or participate in risky behaviors such as alcohol or drugs. If our children are learning the values they carry on in their life from the adults they spend the most time with then it’s crucial to be the major influence in their life sharing even daily joys and struggles. Connecting over activities THEY enjoy doing allows them to see you as someone who wants to really connect with them one-on-one. They see someone who truly cares about spending time with them apart from simply implementing rules.

You may be surprised to see how many conversations open up as you have fun and laugh together. My teen and I could be in the same room all day and never have the conversations we hold when we play a board game or I take them out to lunch. It’s an amazing thing that happens when a child sees their parent truly investing and interested in their interests. As my son would say as we play video games, you leveled up! You now get to see a different side of your teen that may have been locked before.

It may take time and planning but all bonding time doesn’t have to. It could be a spur-of-the-moment coffee break or a visit to your favorite bakery on the way home from school! But bonding will have to be intentional. Below I share twenty-two ideas for you to connect with your teen sons.

I think it’s also important to note: you may not have one ounce of interest or desire to do the things your sons would absolutely love. Playing video games has me wanting to pull my hair out at times, but my boys think my lack of gaming skills is absolutely hilarious. They laugh till they cry when they see mom as a “navy seal” spinning in circles with her gun raised in the air in an attempt to avoid gunfire just to have the screen alert her that she has “died” and the replay of her last few seconds is played repeatedly over and over again on their screen. You may not FEEL like doing the activity, but do it anyways; you will never regret it!

22 Ways A Mom Can Bond With Her Teen Boys

1. Airsoft Shooting

This is on the top of my list because it’s on the top of my boys! I don’t know a teen boy who doesn’t love a good airsoft battle. If you aren’t quite sure what airsoft is there are so many different youtube videos out there to help you grasp the concept. We have had airsoft battles in the field behind our house or in our backyard. There are also airsoft fields all around the country that provide a structured environment to play with others as passionate as you teen some may be. Don’t worry if you don’t know all the rules. I’m sure your son would love explaining them to you! Our favorite airsoft stores to find gear is Evike, Modern Airsoft, Lancer Tactile, and Valken.

2. Video Games

I’m not going to say just HOW much time has gone by since my days of Super Mario and Sega Game Gear but it’s been a while. I have absolutely no idea what I am doing on an Xbox but my kids don’t seem to care at all. In fact, they seem to enjoy teaching me. We make a “gamers platter” tray filled with soft drinks and snacks to keep beside us as we spend our time leveling up, sometimes down, and laughing!

3. Go Hiking

My boys still talk about the time mom took them and their two little brothers hiking one weekend when dad was gone. I strapped the baby to me and we climbed up the mountain only to find there was absolutely no way down. The crumbling steep path we took to go up the mountain would be a landslide going back down. For three hours we were stranded on top of a mountain!

Okay, maybe my plan to bond with my boys didn’t quite turn out as I had expected that time but later on when we were talking about our experience I made the statement that I just wanted to make a memory with my boys. One of my boys chimed in and said, “Well, you sure did that!” The truth is, it doesn’t matter. They will know that mom’s intentions were just simply spending time with them.

4. Play board games

Why don’t teens still like the board games like chutes and ladders? You know, the ones that end within 20 minutes and you can go about your merry day. No, now it’s board games that come with a book of instructions and you still find yourself looking up YouTube videos for tutorials. My oldest has hundreds of dollars worth of board games and literally, no one else in the house wants to play them with him. I often try to avoid this activity because sitting down at a table and setting up all the mini soldiers and markers is not my idea of a good time but he loves every aspect of it. But we have enjoyed many evenings sipping hot chocolate and battling it out with some dice!

5. Bowling

I am a terrible bowler and always ask for the gutter bumpers or my score would be zip, zilch, nada! But, this is one fun way to spend time with your boy. We still talk about the time my son was not paying attention and threw the ball down the wrong lane! Bowling is always a good time.

6. Going to the Gym

My husband and I take turns with our two teenage boys alternating between who goes to the gym with who. We all need good healthy habits and teen boys should be learning how to take care of their bodies so they can be strong able-bodied men. If you aren’t quite sure what to do at a gym, never fear, there are plenty of free workout and strength training routines available online as well as video tutorials. We joined Planet Fitness. They have a black card membership that allows you to bring a guest for free! I also loved when we were members of the YMCA. They have a pool and spa to relax in after a good workout!

7. Take Up A Martial Art Together

There are plenty of martial arts to choose from; however, we chose Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. This practical and applicable art not only strengthened our time together as mother and son but also provided us with lessons in both self-defense and discipline. Plus, it was LOADS of fun! Many more women are getting involved in Jiu-Jitsu and you may be surprised to see just how many moms attend a class. There is no bonding quite like choking out your son on the mat!

8. Riding Bikes

This simple activity can be done on the whim with no out-of-pocket expenses. Unless, your son is like mine and tries to show off for you and jumps his bike, lands on a curb, and needs to go to urgent care. But I’m confident most bike rides don’t end like that. When I did a little research I also found mountain bike trails near our house off of a park that I had no idea were even there. Check out alltrails to find paths near you!

9. Fishing

Now here is an experience that will give room for a lot of conversation! Casting and waiting. What more could a mom want? Want to really impress your son? Rent a row boat from the local water arena and load your gear in and set out for the middle of the lake. Make sure to pack snacks and sunscreen. Don’t worry if placing a worm on a hook makes you queazy, boys love to man up and do this for their squeamish mom.

10. Going to the beach

Have a body of water near you? A fun day in the sun is the perfect outing for you and your teen. There are endless things to do at the beach besides swimming. Bring a football or frisbee. Pack lunch. Learn to boogie board. Who wouldn’t love spending time near the water?

11. Learn A New Hobby

Here me out mom…don’t make this about you. I don’t know a teenage boy who would enjoy learning how to crochet. What are their interests? Would they like to take a cooking class with you? Check out your local schools to see what classes are being offered. What about a surfing lesson? Maybe coding would be something you two could learn together. Is he interested in photography? What about woodworking? The best thing about learning a new hobby together is it is progressive, meaning it’s not a one-time thing. This activity could go on for weeks, months, or last a lifetime.

12. Lunch Date

Boys like food. I like sitting at a table and talking with my son. It doesn’t always have to be in-depth conversations. Chances are if you make it weird they aren’t going to want to do this very often. Ask them their thoughts on Wendy’s fries compared to McDonald’s fries. It doesn’t have to constantly be a conversation where you are imparting all your knowledge to them. Chances are if you are creating the right environment for those conversations they will come when needed.

13. Shooting Range

If your son is into guns this will be epic. The chance to hear explosions ringing in their ear (be sure to wear protective gear), the rattle in their hands, and a huge hole in the target would stand out in their books for sure! Most gun ranges require you to bring your own gun, gear, and ammunition. If you are set with the equipment there is no holding you back from this exciting activity.

14. Running a Race

I was training to run my first 5k when my son showed an interest in running. He surprised me by running almost 4 miles right out of the gate! Oh, to be young again. There are so many races around the country and almost every month of the year. Take the opportunity to sign up together which also provides the opportunity to TRAIN together. It’s a Win-Win.

15. Movies

And Popcorn, yes, please. Okay, maybe there won’t be as much talking going on during this activity as others but remember, the goal is not always to have deep meaningful conversations but to create a relationship where your son knows you are interested in them and they feel comfortable knowing mom cares.

16. Cooking

I have one son who LOVES cooking. Any opportunity to be in the kitchen he takes. He has a grandfather who is a chef and has taught him so much and in turn, he gets to teach me. We make sushi. He’s taught me how to make Tanghulu. We have caught dishtowels on fire (okay, that was me) and have made at times a royal mess; but we always had a blast doing it!

17. Starbucks Pit Stop

Nothing says “mom loves me” like a Chocolate Cookie Crumble Crème Frappuccino from Starbucks. Okay, maybe some things top that but not at the moment your son is licking the whipped cream from the lid! Sometimes this is not even planned but after an afternoon of grocery shopping and errands, we stop in our favorite coffee shop and sit down for a breather. We have both grown to love these few brief moments together sipping our fraps.

18. Arcades

True honesty here…I HATE arcades. I loathe in hatred. To me, they are simply a waste of money but my boys LOVE them! So, we spend the money and I watch them obliterate zombies and they watch me get eaten by zombies. It really is something they love so I put aside the fact I’m paying an outrageous amount of money for a dollar store trinket their tickets awarded to them. It’s the moment I am paying for!

19. Go Karts

Why do boys love go-karts so much? Is it the fact they can go as fast as they want? Is it the fact they can slam into mom and make her spin in circles on the track? Whatever the reason, we always leave the track laughing and wanting to go back for more!

20. Amusement Parks

Maybe this one will take a little more planning but it’s sure to stand out. This is a whole day spent together getting sick on rides, stuffing yourself with popcorn and unhealthy food, and if you are lucky they even have a water park available to swim in!

21. Shopping

Hey, some boys like shopping too! One of my teens always asks to go to the mall. He likes to check out the latest shoes and we often stop for a soft pretzel and pop while we peruse.

22. Building Projects

We needed a kitchen table desperately! I priced them at all the local stores but they were too expensive. I decided to check on Pinterest and there were plans for a beautiful table. My two boys headed for Home Depot picked up all the supplies and made a gorgeous table. Bonus, we had so much fun in the process! It doesn’t have to be a table. Maybe your son could use a desk, a bookshelf, or closet storage? Maybe there is something around the house that needs to be remodeled your son could get involved in. I am so proud of our table but I’m even more proud I accomplished this as a mother-and-son project!